Being Self-FULL Isn’t Being Selfish…



We’re living in a world where we’re constantly trying to please everyone and let the world see us as good people, while we forget how important it is for us to please ourselves. We want to help people and make the world a better place, but we forget that we ourselves need help, and its important we seek it!

Last year, my sister gave me a beautiful handbag, and inside i found a sparkling and simple gold bracelet. First I thought my sister forgot it in bag, because it was neatly wrapped with a paper. On bringing out the bracelet, I realized it has issues with the hook and needs repair, and I assumed that my sister wanted me to repair it, since I make beads.

I took the bracelet, repaired it and kept it back jejeli. The next time I saw my sister, I presented the bracelet to her. On seeing it, she asked why I was returning it, and I told her that I thought she wanted me to repair and return it. My sister laughed and told me she purposely left it in the bag for me. I smiled and said I think she should take it back as I think it would suit her better than me, considering her beautiful hands and all. She laughed and said something I’ll always remember… Why can’t you wear and why do you think it will fit me more? At that moment, something deep down asked me, who said you weren’t meant to wear beautiful things and every beautiful thing you see has to be envisioned on someone else’s body? Who says that beautiful heels won’t fit your legs and that dress isn’t good enough for you? Why can’t I come first when I see good things?

Now why am I bringing back this event that happened so long ago? I recently listened to a Iyanla Vanzant on Oprah Winfrey show and she said something about us learning to think of ourselves first before others. It’s amazing how we give and give, and sometimes, because people aren’t pleased with what we’ve given them, we don’t see how much we’ve given too, believing we have to give more when they want more even when we don’t have more to give.

Well, I want to let us know today that because we have to give from what we have, it means we need to ensure we have enough in us, and that means you have to be SELF-FULL… You heard me! SELF-FULL! You have to have more than enough to give. You have to have more of yourself to give a bit of yourself to anyone. You can’t give from an empty vessel, which is what most of us do. In our relationships, our jobs, and other areas of our lives, and when things don’t work as expected we start crying, not because it didn’t work out, but because we have given too much of ourselves away, and all we think about is “where do I start from?”.

Iyanla Vanzant also said that if you give all you have to somebody, you have successfully made the person a thief. That word gripped me! It opened my eyes and heart to so much! Who have you made a thief in your life… Yes, you have made the person a thief because you have made the person feel they can demand what they have no right to.  Who have you given that right to demand anything of you because they think you have it, which is what we don’t even understand.

Whoever is asking  of you expects you to have! Whoever wants a bit of you, expects you to have more of yourself. The person isn’t asking because they’re wicked or parasites trying to lynch you, but the person expects you to give from your reservoir. What you have inside of you is yours, and whatever is overflowing is for the world. Before you’re coming out to give, the world expects you to have, even if it’s .05 percent extra of yourself. You want to give to the world looking put together, you want to give to the world with your cup full, not with you looking like you need better help for yourself than the person!

Let’s learn to think of ourselves first. Let’s learn to appreciate what we’ve done before expecting the world to appreciate us. Let’s learn to cheer our baby steps before others cheer us.

It’s only when we learn to laugh that we can bring laughter into another’s life. It’s only when we know love for ourselves that we can help others see it. It’s only when we have something in our cup that we can be cheerful givers. It’s only when we have a sense of self that we can help others get a sense of themselves. You can’t give what you don’t have, so why not have more to give more?!


So my message to us this morning is to aspire to be more… To give yourself more, to do more for yourself, to love yourself more, to give yourself good treat because you deserve it. To improve yourself because you deserve that improvement, coupled with the fact that it will help you be more productive at work. Think of yourself first, not because you want to be selfish, but because you know you want to be self full to have enough to give to others! 💕

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Olaitan says:

    This is so inspiring. I’ve never seen it from this light before. Thanks for sharing this.
    10 Reasons You Might Be Breaking Out


    1. Linorajj says:

      Thanks Olaitan! I’m glad you enjoyed the article… And we’ll also like to see more of you here… So come around more, thanks!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s