I call myself a feminist most times, it is one label I presently do not hesitate to tag myself and that is because I know that being a feminist is me standing up for myself and other women.
We all know that not all women call themselves feminists and some actually are not feminist and do not like to be called that, one of their reasons being how feminists these days go all defensive with the mantra “men are scum” and many other things we say on Twitter, and sometimes going from defensive to heavy attacks and these women do not want to be a part of it.
I don’t know when, but it was sometimes last year, I stumbled upon a feminist on Twitter who was not taking it likely with anyone crossing her path. When you make a statement that seems to be against her, she rudely corrects you, which is as good as an attack and blocks you. I found that really disturbing, not the blocking but the insult and one of the reasons for this are because she is a personality, influencing the decisions of a lot of young girls and it won’t be cool if they feel they can just go off on anybody because they’re women… Nope!
I wanted to talk at that point, actually, I did. Not just loud. I typed my 140 characters on Twitter. abbreviating most of it as I needed to fit in every thought all at once and let her know how wrong she was, but something stopped me.
I was stopped, first because I do not like attacking other women on the internet, I have never done that, not to my knowledge at least, but if I have, then the person really pushed me. So yes, I was stopped first by that and the next thing that stopped me was understaning who she is and knowing she will defintely attack me and i’m sorry, but i do not like entertaining such weakness on the internet and finally, the reason i didn’t respond was the fact that I wanted to talk about it, which is why I am throwing this question out for us to learn from, because i also do want to learn from you.
As a feminist, can you bitch about other women?
My sincere response to this question will be NO. Now looking at the expression of this sentence, i’ll say no because bitching is more or less saying negative things about your fellow women, so NO, I do not subscribe to talking about your fellow women negatively even though I know we’ve all found ourselves in such situations before where that lady has offended us and we just want to bitch about her or say our mind about her to other women.
Well, I think there are better ways to go about it which should start with having a talk with them personally. I think women should try their best to not talk down to their fellow woman, especially when they’re also carrying that tag as feminist because you know what? if you confidently bash another woman especially in front of a man, because that man will later use those words against her and even other women.
A typical example can be seen with the Big Brother See Gobe where Bisola comfortably spoke against TBoss, calling her names. Her actions made it comfortable for the guys in the house to speak against her and harbour different negative thoughts about her, which did not speak well for a personality like Bisola whose words and ideologies can influence others’.
So is it okay to bitch about other women as a feminist? No. You can correct, but do it constructively and don’t go all harsh and condemning on your fellow woman. This is not to say we won’t fall off the bad wagon sometimes and run our mouth, but when we do, let’s also remember to call ourselves to order and apologies when necessary because either you like it or not, there’s someone somewhere who respects you and is ready to follow your path and seeing you might as well encourage such actions for them and guess guess? You wouldn’t want to start encouraging what you’ll want to start curbing later, would you? You wouldn’t want to make it look okay to bash other women today and tell men tomorrow to stop bashing women because that would be plain double standards.
This is not to say we shouldn’t be totally honest with our fellow women and sometimes this honesty might be harsh, but it is important to say our truth as gentle as possible, with the aim to correct and not to inflict pain with our words or bring another down… this is the responsibility that comes with being a feminist (i think), to try our best to be patient with other women because we know majority of the population in the world isn’t ready to be patient with her.
So as feminists, let us be conscious in not just the way we treat other women, but also in the way we treat humans generally because if we are asking men to respect us, let us also try as hard as we can to respect them.
So help me God!
So ladies, can you bitch about other women as a feminist and even if you’re not one?